12 Pounds Gone!

I finally have lost 12 pounds now. I had lost 11 by last month, then I gained 2 back. I've lost those two and have finally lost another...Yeah!!! Onward...
If I lose 3 more pounds I will be back to where I was 5 years ago, and if I can lose 7 more pounds, I will be at the lowest weight that me darlin' children will ever have remembered seeing me. That would be awesome....
I weighed less than that when Beth was little, but I doubt that she has much memory of it. I went through a bout of depression back when she was little and took medication that made me hungry all the time, and gained 20 pounds. Yikes! I slowed down the weight gain after I stopped taking the medication, but a few pounds were added on the year that Michael was a baby. The year after we adopted John was so stressful, dealing with his birth grandparents, the social worker who had no clue what she was doing, and all of John's physical and emotional problems that I gained another 20 pounds. At my worst, I weighed 53 pounds more than I did before Beth arrived. I had lost 26 pounds around 6 years ago, but then had gradually gained 15 back over the last three years.
So that old high blood pressure has motivated me to lose weight and hopefully I can lose enough that I can get off the medication. In general, I have been feeling better these last few months, though I haven't been sleeping well this week...someone has been laying heavy on my heart and I haven't been able to talk to them, (and probably still won't get to for a while..they're too busy). For some reason, times like this make it difficult for me to sleep. I can sleep for about 4 hours and then I wake up and lay there thinking about things. Crazy, I know, but it happens.
What has helped some is that I will lay there and start praying for different people, especially the person who is lying heavy on my heart, and gradually I go back to sleep for another hour or two. But I've been getting by on 5 or 6 hours of sleep and since I'm the type of person who really needs 8 hours, it's catching up with me.

I need to get off here, and go do my morning exercise....work towards that next pound!

I hope and pray that all of you have a blessed Wednesday.....

One Party Down....

First party down....
The first party went well....the rain held off until about 11 o'clock so they were outside for a long time. Everyone left by 1:15 and then Mark, Beth, and I stayed up for a while cleaning up. I got to bed about 2:30 and I was exhausted, but I couldn't sleep. Someone dear to my heart is going through a tough time, and the dear Lord is letting me share this person's pain a bit. I started feeling it about Thursday and it grew stronger on Friday and has carried through to today. It's an interior thing....you wouldn't be able to tell if you spoke to me because I'm managing (for the most part!) to remain outwardly cheerful.
But when this happens, it makes me pray for the person more...I only hope that it is helpful somehow.
So anyway, I couldn't sleep; there were so many thoughts and feelings swirling through my mind, so about 3:30 I got back up and wrote this person an email and went back to bed. I still laid awake until about 4:30, but I did manage to get a few hours of sleep...thankfully!!
What is even better is that so far today the weather is beautiful. All week they had kept predicting rain for today but it rained through the night and now the sky is blue and the sun is shining. They still are saying that we could get some isolated showers this afternoon, but I'm praying we don't. We have those 40 teens coming around 3 PM for the cast party and I really would like them to be able to spend a good part of it outside.
I'm off to make a bunch of food....
I will be grateful when this party is over, but I must admit there is some satisfaction in throwing parties. I enjoy it in many ways, especially with our group of friends. They are always so gracious and thankful and it makes it a joy to entertain and feed them.

A blessed, peaceful Sunday to all....may you be filled with His grace-filled joy....

Crazy Days of Summer

Sometimes I can't believe how one little sentence uttered to me can bother me so much. Somebody said something to me yesterday, and after we parted company, Michael looked at me and said "Ouch!"
I responded to Michael by saying that the person hadn't realized how it sounded and that we shouldn't take it as an insult, but it's still nagging at me a bit today and honestly, it's ruining the whole mood of my day. I keep telling myself to fluff it off, but it's back there lurking, smiling it's nasty little grin at me. Silly me....
I'm going to try to get to Adoration this evening....perhaps I can dump my hurt there...

You would think that with the weekend we have coming up that I wouldn't have time to think about anything else. I'm having two big parties here again this weekend. Saturday night Beth is having a couples' shower for Steve's brother and his fiance who are getting married in four weeks(Beth is a bridesmaid), and on Sunday we're having the cast costume party for the play that our boys are going to be in for the Bible Institute at the end of the month. The play is a futuristic rendition of the book of Judith.
The costume party is when the kids and some of the moms all come to our house and work on the costumes for the play and we serve them all dinner. The only thing I'm really worried about is that they keep calling for rain on those days, especially Sunday, and forty or so teens in my house for 6 hours is a bit daunting. Hopefully, the dear Lord will have pity on me and spare us the rain...

Off to do something useful...hehe...hope all of you are having a blessed Friday....

Wow.....

I just linked to a new blog. This Catholic mom has 10 children, ages 8 and under, including 3 sets of twins.
Wow....
http://jamiesperfect10.blogspot.com

Perseverance

I'm looking out my bedroom window at my father out working in the garden. It's almost 85 degrees outside already and it's very humid. My father will be 88 next month and it amazes me to see him persevering in the garden. He can only work an hour or so every morning and then he's tired out. He naps the afternoon away...
Last week, a woman in our neighborhood who walks everyday, stopped and told my dad that he's her inspiration. She sees him out there working everyday and it pushes her to keep going.
I think I'll send Michael out there to help him.
I thank the dear Lord for the lessons of hard work and perseverance taught me by my dad.

A blessed Tuesday to all.....

Sisterly-brotherly love

Steve's family is having a luau tonight. Mark and I always go and help chaperone. Beth and Steve are there, of course, and now my boys are old enough to go too.
I'm trying really hard not to laugh hysterically because Beth is "working" on John....trying to get him ready. She's fixing his hair, picking out his clothes, and he hates it!!!
His voice is changing and he sounds so funny when he's complaining.
She keeps saying she can't understand why he's fighting her when she just wants him to look good.
Too, too funny. I love it.... (now I hear him laughing in there).
A blessed weekend to all.....

That Same Old Pain....

Having one of my sad days...not depressed, but just sad. There's a relationship in my life that causes me pain sometimes and the last few days it has been building up. Especially today. But it's funny that when those sad days come, I find myself feeling a bit of comfort from our dear Lord. I've been going through a dry period in my spiritual life, (which is probably my fault) but today I'm feeling a bit of His peace. Every cloud has a silver lining....

I've also found myself thinking about that old infertility stuff again. You would think that I would be over it now that I've reached the golden age of 50, but still it haunts me sometimes. This past month I had the longest cycle that I've had in about 20 years and a part of me was beginning to wonder. I kept telling myself that it's just because I'm getting old, but I still found myself feeling a bit hopeful. I told Beth about it last week and she me told to go buy a pregnancy test, but I didn't. We talked for a bit about what it would be like if I was pregnant. Crazy, I know. Part of me was scared to death to think about it.....carrying a baby at age 50 when I already have high blood pressure. I could imagine how our families would have reacted.....hehe.....but I knew deep inside that I would have been so happy.
A bit scared, but happy.
But, of course, I'm not.
I linked to someone's blog these last few days who is suffering through infertility. She was writing about all of her feelings and everything she's going through. I want to write her sometime and tell her how blessed she is that there is so much more treatment available now than when I was suffering through it 25 years ago. In those days, there was only one infertility specialist in Cincinnati and he just kept pushing the in vitro fertilization, which of course, I couldn't do. Now there's the Pope Paul VI Institute out in Omaha to help women trying to get pregnant and even here in Cincinnati there's a doctor who was trained there. There's also the internet with tons of information that wasn't available to me back in the 80's or 90's. She still has hope; mine is gone.
I know that our dear Lord meant our family to be this way but when times like last week happen, I find myself feeling a bit of hope and then that wistfulness hits me when the hope is dashed again.
I can imagine the joy that St. Elizabeth and Sarah felt when they conceived in their old age.
But I know that through the ages there have been thousands of women who have endured the pain that I have had to endure. I know that I am not alone.

May you be ever mindful of our dear Lord's comforting presence.....