I feel life changes coming....
This week Mark and I celebrated our 31st wedding anniversary. Today is the anniversary of when I lost our baby 28 years ago...I cried a few tears thinking about our Anthony today. When we were on vacation, we went to see the movie "Up" and I cried at the beginning when he and his wife are getting ready for a new baby and then you see them in the doctor's office and she is sitting in the chair with her face in her hands crying and instantly, I was back in that doctor's office 28 years ago, reliving those painful moments of grief and sorrow. Tears ran down my face...I couldn't believe how quickly those feelings came back. I could feel her anguish and remember my own.
But today is also the 22nd anniversary of the our final adoption hearing for Beth and the 17th anniversary of when we brought our Michael home. God is good, indeed, to have given me reasons to rejoice on this day.
However, changes are coming. Every night when we sit down to dinner, I think about the fact that in a few short months, I will no longer have all of my children living at home with me. Where did those years go? Last night at dinner, we were talking about all the books I read to the kids over the years. Every night before I put them to bed, I would read a book to the boys and then I would read to Beth. I remembered books they had forgotten and they remembered books I had forgotten. It was funny to listen to all of their reactions now to those stories. I'm so glad that I did that...what wonderful memories.
On Wednesday, Michael passed his driver's test and on Wednesday evening, for the first time, I watched him drive off alone to a friend's house. More changes...
My babies are growing up and I am about to begin a new stage of my life.
A blessed peaceful weekend to you all....
Friday, August 7, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Happy Birthday Michael!!!!
Happy Birthday to me darlin' Michael!!!!!
He's 17 and I can't believe it....
He's away on a fishing trip to Arkansas with my brother Steve, and two of my nephews. They're having a memorial fishing tournament down there this week for my oldest brother David, who died 19 months ago. Mark and I couldn't go because we're working at Presentation's Bible Institute here this week, but Michael was excited to get to go.
I'm missing him, especially today.
A very busy week going on here.
A blessed peaceful night to all....
He's 17 and I can't believe it....
He's away on a fishing trip to Arkansas with my brother Steve, and two of my nephews. They're having a memorial fishing tournament down there this week for my oldest brother David, who died 19 months ago. Mark and I couldn't go because we're working at Presentation's Bible Institute here this week, but Michael was excited to get to go.
I'm missing him, especially today.
A very busy week going on here.
A blessed peaceful night to all....
Friday, July 24, 2009
I have not blogged in a month...the longest break ever in the four and a half years I've been writing. Now there's so much to write but I can't do it all at once.
I started with bronchitis on July 1 and I haven't felt that well since. Slowly, day by day, things get better but it's slow. I'm not contagious but it just has worn me down. I get tired easily.
My daughter passed her nursing boards and starts her new job at Children's Hospital in the ICU on August 19th. Very exciting!
She signed the papers to buy a brand-new beautiful condo about two miles from our house yesterday. I sat there watching her signing paper after paper and I knew the next stage of my life is soon to begin. She won't be moving out until November or so, but I realize it will be here before I know it. I am happy for her and a little sad for me. I had hoped that she would stay at home until she got married but that is probably at least another 15 months or more away and she is so anxious to start her adult life. It is a very nice condo...1700 square feet with two bedrooms, two full baths, a study, living room, dining room, kitchen, and laundry room. ...bigger than our first house!
I'm bound to cry on moving day when I look at her empty room.
Michael and John are thrilled because now they will each have their own room.
I am struggling through a dry time in my spiritual life when prayer is sometimes difficult and I feel so discouraged about so many situations in my life.
But He is there.
With His quiet presence.
A blessed peaceful night to all....
I started with bronchitis on July 1 and I haven't felt that well since. Slowly, day by day, things get better but it's slow. I'm not contagious but it just has worn me down. I get tired easily.
My daughter passed her nursing boards and starts her new job at Children's Hospital in the ICU on August 19th. Very exciting!
She signed the papers to buy a brand-new beautiful condo about two miles from our house yesterday. I sat there watching her signing paper after paper and I knew the next stage of my life is soon to begin. She won't be moving out until November or so, but I realize it will be here before I know it. I am happy for her and a little sad for me. I had hoped that she would stay at home until she got married but that is probably at least another 15 months or more away and she is so anxious to start her adult life. It is a very nice condo...1700 square feet with two bedrooms, two full baths, a study, living room, dining room, kitchen, and laundry room. ...bigger than our first house!
I'm bound to cry on moving day when I look at her empty room.
Michael and John are thrilled because now they will each have their own room.
I am struggling through a dry time in my spiritual life when prayer is sometimes difficult and I feel so discouraged about so many situations in my life.
But He is there.
With His quiet presence.
A blessed peaceful night to all....
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
God is Good, Always...
Thank you for all of your prayers....I appreciate them so much.
I went for my diagnostic mammogram yesterday and I must admit I was a bit nervous but basically calm.
Sunday night as I said my evening prayers and rosary, I was thinking a bit about what it would be like if the news was bad and I found myself thinking about all of the people and situations I could offer up my suffering for if that was part of our dear Lord's plan for my life.
It really was helpful to think of all those dear people.
I had to wait a bit but when they took me back, the young lady who was doing my procedure showed me the spot they were concerned about on my first mammogram last week. I could see it. She showed me where it would be on myself and I definitely couldn't feel it. She did two more different images and then took me to a room to wait. Several minutes later she came back and said that the doctor wanted another image. That made me feel a bit more nervous. So we went back and did another.
She took me back to that waiting room and left me there for what seemed like forever, but was actually only 5 minutes or so. During this time I prepared myself to hear that I needed a biopsy. I kept praying for strength.When she came back, she didn't look me in the face but told me the doctor wanted to talk to me.
However, when I went back he showed me all of the views and explained everything and then told me that he was 99.9% sure that it wasn't cancer. Huge sigh of relief from me...
He does want me to go back in 6 months and have another one done just to be on the very cautious side. This had been my first mammogram so he has nothing to compare it to and this way he will be sure. He also showed me where to check for it but he said it's too small for me to probably feel right now.
I had an interesting week for sure. It made me look at my own mortality. I guess I think of myself as having 20 or 30 years left and it made me think about the possibility that I could only have a few, though in reality none of us knows the hour or moment....
I am grateful for this temporary reprieve.
God is good, always.
A blessed day to all ......
I went for my diagnostic mammogram yesterday and I must admit I was a bit nervous but basically calm.
Sunday night as I said my evening prayers and rosary, I was thinking a bit about what it would be like if the news was bad and I found myself thinking about all of the people and situations I could offer up my suffering for if that was part of our dear Lord's plan for my life.
It really was helpful to think of all those dear people.
I had to wait a bit but when they took me back, the young lady who was doing my procedure showed me the spot they were concerned about on my first mammogram last week. I could see it. She showed me where it would be on myself and I definitely couldn't feel it. She did two more different images and then took me to a room to wait. Several minutes later she came back and said that the doctor wanted another image. That made me feel a bit more nervous. So we went back and did another.
She took me back to that waiting room and left me there for what seemed like forever, but was actually only 5 minutes or so. During this time I prepared myself to hear that I needed a biopsy. I kept praying for strength.When she came back, she didn't look me in the face but told me the doctor wanted to talk to me.
However, when I went back he showed me all of the views and explained everything and then told me that he was 99.9% sure that it wasn't cancer. Huge sigh of relief from me...
He does want me to go back in 6 months and have another one done just to be on the very cautious side. This had been my first mammogram so he has nothing to compare it to and this way he will be sure. He also showed me where to check for it but he said it's too small for me to probably feel right now.
I had an interesting week for sure. It made me look at my own mortality. I guess I think of myself as having 20 or 30 years left and it made me think about the possibility that I could only have a few, though in reality none of us knows the hour or moment....
I am grateful for this temporary reprieve.
God is good, always.
A blessed day to all ......
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Waiting
I've been trying to offer up the waiting....
We've been really busy which helps. Last night we went to the Reds' game. It was stinkin' hot but we still had a good time. They won plus they had a great fireworks show afterwards.
Today and tomorrow we are on the go nearly nonstop...which can be good and bad. Today we have a leadership training seminar to go to all day (which I have to provide the lunch for everyone) and this evening we have a graduation party. Tomorrow we have a baptism to attend with a party afterwards and a Father's Day party in the evening at my brother's for my dad. At least I won't have a lot of time to think about it.
Thank you again for the prayers....I know they're helping to keep me calm.
A blessed weekend to all.....
We've been really busy which helps. Last night we went to the Reds' game. It was stinkin' hot but we still had a good time. They won plus they had a great fireworks show afterwards.
Today and tomorrow we are on the go nearly nonstop...which can be good and bad. Today we have a leadership training seminar to go to all day (which I have to provide the lunch for everyone) and this evening we have a graduation party. Tomorrow we have a baptism to attend with a party afterwards and a Father's Day party in the evening at my brother's for my dad. At least I won't have a lot of time to think about it.
Thank you again for the prayers....I know they're helping to keep me calm.
A blessed weekend to all.....
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Vacation Memories
I really seem to have lost my heart for blogging these last few months. I want to get back to it because I so much enjoy being able to go back and read my life these last four years, but I struggle with forcing myself to write.
Our vacation was very nice, though too short as usual, and we arrived home safe and sound late Saturday night. I wish I would have blogged some of our days when we were there but I didn't, and so I'm going to write down things I want to remember about those days....
My sweetest memory will be sitting on the balcony with Mark saying our rosary every night. Listening to the ocean, watching the moon shine its awesome gleam on the ocean some nights, and watching lightning over the ocean other nights. One night, the moon came up blood red in color...very eerie....and right as we were finishing our rosary, the clouds started rolling in and then we were happy to run in the condo as a storm broke loose.
Our condo was on the 14th floor (actually the 13th floor) and I'm afraid of heights. They didn't have a lower floor available so I asked the dear Lord to take away my fear for the week and thankfully, He did. I wasn't afraid. I could stand on the balcony and look over the railing and I wasn't afraid. Absolutely amazing. In the past I wouldn't have even been able to go out on the balcony.
Other memories....
Mark, John, and I working on the puzzle we brought in the evenings...
All of us going to see UP and wearing our 3D glasses.
All of us going to see Star Trek and trying to figure it out afterwards.
Dancing on our chairs at Senor Frog on our last night....okay, Mark, Beth, and I danced on our chairs and the guys just sat there looking at us.
Going outlet shopping with Beth while the guys went trapshooting....I was so tired by the end of that afternoon!
Reading Les Miserables....I'm still trying to finish it up.
Walking on the beach in the morning with my darlin' husband.
Watching the fireworks at Barefoot Landing and Broadway on the Beach.
Laughing at Beth and Steve's antics and telling Steve that he better not complain after they're married because he KNOWS what he's getting himself into.
Laughing at Michael doing his "Magic Quest" jokes all week and wearing his nerdy 3D glasses.
Enjoying the fact that this year it wasn't bikers' week at the beach.
Going to Mass on Thursday with Mark and out to lunch together....alone...
Just spending time relaxing with all of them.....I know these days of family vacations are coming close to ending.
Beth is talking about moving out next year, and oh, my mother's heart will break a bit more that day. I keep hoping that she'll wait until they get married, but Steve needs a better-paying job and we're all praying for that. The economy is definitely not helping that situation. Beth's best friend from college became engaged over the weekend and I know that they're hoping it can happen soon for them too.
Other news....
On Monday I went for a mammogram. Yesterday I received a call that they want me to go back for more on my right. The nurse told me not to be scared, but there's the little nagging at my heart. I thought I was handling it well but then yesterday it hit me once how hard it would be to have something wrong, and I cried. Of course, they can't do the additional test until next Monday, so I have to wait when all I want is for it to be over with. I'm reminding myself of the people I know who've had to go back and it was nothing; and I'm also reminding myself of all the women I know who have been treated for breast cancer and are still with us, living their lives. They made it through though it wasn't a fun process.
I'm praying and putting my life in His hands and I'm praying for the strength to keep being able to put it in His hands, if you know what I mean. I know He knows what's best....I just would really like to be around at least long enough to finish homeschooling and raising me darlin' children...
It's been rainy and cloudy and gloomy ever since we arrived home and that doesn't help the mood....I sure could use some sunshine. They keep saying later today....I hope so!
A blessed peaceful Wednesday to all....
Our vacation was very nice, though too short as usual, and we arrived home safe and sound late Saturday night. I wish I would have blogged some of our days when we were there but I didn't, and so I'm going to write down things I want to remember about those days....
My sweetest memory will be sitting on the balcony with Mark saying our rosary every night. Listening to the ocean, watching the moon shine its awesome gleam on the ocean some nights, and watching lightning over the ocean other nights. One night, the moon came up blood red in color...very eerie....and right as we were finishing our rosary, the clouds started rolling in and then we were happy to run in the condo as a storm broke loose.
Our condo was on the 14th floor (actually the 13th floor) and I'm afraid of heights. They didn't have a lower floor available so I asked the dear Lord to take away my fear for the week and thankfully, He did. I wasn't afraid. I could stand on the balcony and look over the railing and I wasn't afraid. Absolutely amazing. In the past I wouldn't have even been able to go out on the balcony.
Other memories....
Mark, John, and I working on the puzzle we brought in the evenings...
All of us going to see UP and wearing our 3D glasses.
All of us going to see Star Trek and trying to figure it out afterwards.
Dancing on our chairs at Senor Frog on our last night....okay, Mark, Beth, and I danced on our chairs and the guys just sat there looking at us.
Going outlet shopping with Beth while the guys went trapshooting....I was so tired by the end of that afternoon!
Reading Les Miserables....I'm still trying to finish it up.
Walking on the beach in the morning with my darlin' husband.
Watching the fireworks at Barefoot Landing and Broadway on the Beach.
Laughing at Beth and Steve's antics and telling Steve that he better not complain after they're married because he KNOWS what he's getting himself into.
Laughing at Michael doing his "Magic Quest" jokes all week and wearing his nerdy 3D glasses.
Enjoying the fact that this year it wasn't bikers' week at the beach.
Going to Mass on Thursday with Mark and out to lunch together....alone...
Just spending time relaxing with all of them.....I know these days of family vacations are coming close to ending.
Beth is talking about moving out next year, and oh, my mother's heart will break a bit more that day. I keep hoping that she'll wait until they get married, but Steve needs a better-paying job and we're all praying for that. The economy is definitely not helping that situation. Beth's best friend from college became engaged over the weekend and I know that they're hoping it can happen soon for them too.
Other news....
On Monday I went for a mammogram. Yesterday I received a call that they want me to go back for more on my right. The nurse told me not to be scared, but there's the little nagging at my heart. I thought I was handling it well but then yesterday it hit me once how hard it would be to have something wrong, and I cried. Of course, they can't do the additional test until next Monday, so I have to wait when all I want is for it to be over with. I'm reminding myself of the people I know who've had to go back and it was nothing; and I'm also reminding myself of all the women I know who have been treated for breast cancer and are still with us, living their lives. They made it through though it wasn't a fun process.
I'm praying and putting my life in His hands and I'm praying for the strength to keep being able to put it in His hands, if you know what I mean. I know He knows what's best....I just would really like to be around at least long enough to finish homeschooling and raising me darlin' children...
It's been rainy and cloudy and gloomy ever since we arrived home and that doesn't help the mood....I sure could use some sunshine. They keep saying later today....I hope so!
A blessed peaceful Wednesday to all....
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Heading for the Beach
We're leaving for the beaches of South Carolina in the morning.....ahhhh.....vacation.....
I'm taking my laptop so hopefully I will have a chance to do some blogging while I'm there.
A blessed, peaceful Sunday to all.....
I'm taking my laptop so hopefully I will have a chance to do some blogging while I'm there.
A blessed, peaceful Sunday to all.....
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