Sunday, October 25, 2009

A New Phase of Life

Beth received the closing date on her condo Friday and I realize that in just a few weeks she will be leaving home. I laid awake in bed the other night and realized that I am living the last few weeks when all of my children will be sleeping under our roof together....a thought that brings tears to my eyes but also that little joy that I have managed to raise a responsible young lady who is ready to move out into the world.
Another phase of my life is about to begin....

I hope that all of you have had a blessed Sunday.....

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Life has been crazy....

I finally have a few minutes at home alone in which I can write.
Mark and Beth are at work, Michael is at co-op, and John is at the grocery store with my dad.
The last nine days have been a bit crazy.....
Last Monday, it started with my aunt calling me nice and early in the morning and she was crying. She's 88 years old, widowed for almost 30 years, and lives alone. Her only child, her son, died of a pulmonary embolism when he was only 37, so she just has three granddaughters, all in their 20's. She calls me every week and I always ask if she needs anything because she's pretty well homebound now. She told me that she was low on groceries so I told her I would come in the afternoon and go shopping for her. I did my normal morning routine, the boys and I went to noon Mass, home for lunch, and then John and I went to my aunt's. She started crying again when I got there. She tells me that her oldest granddaughter is pregnant (not married). My aunt, of course, is upset about that plus the fact that her granddaughter must have told her that she won't be able to help her much any more. This granddaughter would come once a week and take her to the store or the bank, but now she probably won't be doing this. Her other granddaughters rarely come to see her at all, so of course she is worried about what is going to happen to her. So I tell her that I will help her out. This means, of course, that I will have to go over there at least once a week, if not more. It wouldn't be so bad except that I have my own parents becoming increasingly dependent on me for help. I'm the only one of my siblings that doesn't have an outside job, and all the spouses have jobs too, so everything falls on me during the week. Last week, I was there everyday for at least an hour, usually more and it is so difficult when I'm trying to homeschool the boys and keep up with everything else.

Wednesday morning Mom had a doctor appointment and had to have blood tests done at the hospital so we were up early and didn't get home until after 1 PM. In the afternoon, Mark took Michael to the doctor because he has been complaining about his back and we found out he probably has scoliosis. I felt terrible because I hadn't noticed. It seems that his left shoulder is lower than his right shoulder which is a symptom and I've just been grumbling at him to stand up straight because I thought it was just bad posture. The doctor they recommended he see doesn't have an open appointment until February so now I need to see if I can find a different doctor who can see him sooner. I cried a few tears over that situation, feeling that I should have figured that out a long time ago and wondering if it will be too late to help it.
Thursday was a nice, normal crazy school day. I was behind because of my busy days on Monday and Wednesday, so I rushed around all day. Mark and I actually went to the grocery store at 10:30 PM and 11:45 found us putting the last of the groceries away.
Friday morning I was all ready to do my exercise routine when the phone rang and it's my mother. My dad had been up with a stomach bug all night and was now appearing to be dehydrated. We're told to take him to the hospital so off we went. I had rushed out of the house with no breakfast and without taking my shower so it made for a long morning of sitting in the emergency room. My mom also had left without breakfast and taking her morning medications so she was worried about that and Dad. We were also surrounded by people who were there because they had the flu and H1N1 is in full force around here.
I offered to go home and get Mom's medicine but she didn't want me to leave because she was afraid they would tell her something and she wouldn't remember. (She has been struggling with dementia for about two years now). So I started calling my brothers to see if anyone can leave work for an hour to get Mom's medicine and give us a chance to get something to eat. I finally got in touch with my brother Steve who was able to get the meds and stay with Dad for 20 minutes while Mom and I got lunch in the hospital's cafeteria. Thank the dear Lord for cell phones! I don't know what I would have done without it. Around 5 o'clock, my brother Chuck and my sister came to relieve me after they got home from work. By this time, they had decided to admit my dad and had moved him to a room. Mom and I were exhausted by this point. Eight hours in the emergency room is no fun. I took her home and then went home to get dinner for us. After dinner, we took John to my mom's so that he could spend the night with her, bless his sweet heart!
On Saturday, Beth and I took Mom up to the hospital in the morning and they decided to keep Dad another day. Thankfully, my siblings took over for the rest of the weekend. I am so thankful to have siblings; I can't imagine being an only child in these situations. Saturday evening Beth and Michael went out with friends and John went to stay with my mom again, so Mark and I had an opportunity to go out for dinner alone and we took advantage of it...very nice indeed.
Despite the fact that my week was so hectic, I still was able to find His peace in it all. None of my days went as I had planned but each time I just kept remembering that it is all in His hands. On Wednesday and Friday I wasn't able to get to daily Mass as I usually do but on both days, I found myself looking at the clock at noon when I would normally be at Mass, and His peace just flooded over me. I felt His comfort that I was where I was supposed to be....
God is good indeed, always.
A blessed Tuesday to all....

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Thank You St. Bernard....

I was reading an article about miscarriage on another blog which included the words that St. Bernard of Clairvaux said to someone who was suffering after miscarriage, wondering about the eternal salvation of her child. Here are his words:
St. Bernard said, “Your faith spoke for this child. Baptism for this child was only delayed by time. Your faith suffices. The waters of your womb — were they not the waters of life for this child? Look at your tears. Are they not like the waters of baptism? Do not fear this. God’s ability to love is greater than our fears. Surrender everything to God.”

Several years ago I had written on my blog about hoping that my only biological child who died before birth, was in heaven. A young man who sometimes read my blog, wrote to tell me that my baby was definitely in hell because he hadn't been baptized. Others wrote to give me hope, but he kept writing back insisting otherwise and his words were so wounding. This young man is now in seminary and I surely hope that while there, he learns something about pastoral care and is not so harsh with some poor mother in the future who has suffered the loss of her baby before birth.
Thank you St. Bernard....

A blessed, peaceful weekend to all.....