I would greatly appreciate prayers for my surgery tomorrow. It's scheduled for 11:30 and should take about two hours. The doctor gave me a long list of possible complications and I've been reading about all the"joys" of instant menopause (more difficult than normal menopause) so I must admit I'm a bit nervous but I keep telling myself that our dear Lord has a plan in it all. Last night before going to bed I was very tired and it all hit me and the tears started and the fear crept in that my life will never be the same. Perhaps it won't be, but Mark kept comforting me with the thought that things will be all right and that I will get through with His strength and His grace.
Last night Beth and I went to see a production of White Christmas with some other mothers and daughters, and as I was sitting there, I noticed in the audience one of my high school friends. Her husband died several weeks after I was diagnosed last May and I remembered how I felt going to his funeral and seeing her pain. It was all so surreal to me then that she was widowed and that I had cancer. Those feelings came back seeing her and I teared up a bit sitting there last night and the reality of it hit me all over again. I imagine that there have been times when she wished she could wake up and have her husband back just like I've had moments of wishing I could go back to my life before cancer.
But I reminded myself that life moves forward....we are all on that journey to our eternal home and the dear Lord has asked us to trust in Him and move forward through these difficult times. I must admit to having moments of wavering but I have also been graced with moments of thanksgiving that the dear Lord has entrusted me with this opportunity to grow in grace through this suffering.
I pray that I have the strength, the faith, the grace to accept it all and offer it up peacefully and joyfully.
Thank you again for all of your prayers. You have all been such a comfort to me.
Dear Blessed Mother, please pray for me....