I have been so happy the last two months or so...it's been awesome. I don't why or what has been different but the Lord has blessed me with joy and contentment. I think it's one reason why I haven't written much...perhaps I was afraid that if I wrote about it, it would suddenly vanish. I did get a bit sad when Beth moved out but it wasn't that heaviness of heart and depression that I've experienced so frequently in the last five years.
Strangely enough it ended this past week....my heaviness of heart has returned. It always makes me turn to our dear Lord more so perhaps He is calling me closer this week before we celebrate His birth. It hasn't been terrible at least and perhaps it is because I have learned that it will pass...that it does not go on forever....it is just a phase. I have been offering it up...perhaps someone dear to my heart needs my prayers and I don't even know it. Perhaps there is someone out there that I don't even know that needs me to offer this up. Only He knows...
Today has been the first day that I started to feel a little panic about having everything ready but it subsided rapidly. It's a shame that we don't appreciate how carefree these blessed days are when we are young and can just enjoy. I think back to the joy and carefreeness of Christmas when I was a child and keep reminding myself that I am trying to give that magic to my children.
I do miss having a little one in the house at this time of year...it's always a pleasure to see the wonder of it all in their eyes. Perhaps in a few years, we will be blessed with a grandchild to share it with...won't that be a joy!
The family is coming to my house on Christmas Day this year....right now the count is at 32. We roasted the turkeys already and have the meat and gravy in the fridge all ready to reheat on the big day. Everyone is bringing something so I'm hopeful that the day won't be too stressful, but I know I will be tired when it is over. I'm looking forward to some relaxing days this weekend and next week before I have to start up school again. I am taking Michael out of his high school co-op and am going back to planning his schooldays myself. We've gotten behind on his math and there are several things I would like to focus on to help get him ready for the SAT. I do wish he had some idea what he wants to do after high school...in 17 months he will be finished and I know it will be here in a wink of an eye...my babies are growing up so quickly!
A blessed Christmas to all of you....may you feel that magic that the day came bring but even more, may you feel the blessed peace and joy that only He can bring.
