Friday, May 13, 2011

This Roller Coaster Ride Called Cancer Day 12

I found out yesterday that my surgery will be Monday afternoon at 2:30. Today, a nurse from the hospital called to tell me that I need to be there by noon because I'm scheduled for a needle localization at 1 before the surgery. News to me. It turns out that I have to have dye injected into the area before the surgery and the idea doesn't sound too appealing, especially since I will be awake.

I have to admit I've been on a roller coaster of emotions. Most days I have done very well, being upbeat and cheerful. Today I was fine until the nurse called me and it all struck me again. I ended up crying while I took my shower...a good place to do it because then the boys don't see. I've tried very hard to keep my spirits up in front of them so that I don't scare them.

All along, some of the mornings have been the hardest and I've always felt better after I go to noon Mass. The Eucharist is such a gift! Today, however, I didn't go to noon Mass because Mark and I have been invited to the Archbishop's dinner at the seminary and they are having Mass before dinner. At this point, I don't really feel like going to the dinner but I know I will feel better once I get out of the house and think about something else. I also know that the Mass there will be always is. =)

I think I'll go take a nap and then finish up all the prep work for the boys' schoolwork for next week. I want to have everything ready before Monday so that we can get through the school week easily. I have no idea how I will feel after surgery. I've checked some forums and some women have little discomfort after surgery and some are miserable for weeks...time will tell! I just keep praying and know that our dear Lord and His Blessed Mother will see me through.

A blessed, peaceful Friday to all....heart

1 comment:

Sheila said...

Barb: I haven't been on facebook very much, and I just found your blog. I've been praying and wondering how you are. Now I know. Will the surgeon just do a lumpectomy and take the thing out? My mom survived her suicide attempt, but she is still having major mood swings. She is a Protestant who still doesn't understand why I became a Catholic. The concept of offering up sufferings to Jesus is foreign to her. I'll try to use your example to help her, without names, of course. My dad has major surgery on Tuesday, so both your surgery and his will be in my prayers. I might have to spend Tuesday with her. You are an inspiration to me. Your unflagging faith in our dear Lord, even when faced with pain and fear, remind me of why I converted. God bless you and your family as you deal with this.