Sunday, February 26, 2012

Seasons of Our Lives

It was a beautiful winter day here....bright blue skies and temperatures in the low 50's. In the late afternoon, Mark asked me if I wanted to go take a walk in the park. We've always loved walking in a nearby park but we never were able to go last year because I never felt up to it with the surgery and radiation treatments and such.
So I happily went. The trail we do goes through the woods up a few hills and alongside a pond for a while. I wondered how I would feel walking it but today was the best I've felt in months since before my surgery in December. There was hardly anyone there when we arrived so we took off down the trail and Mark told me that I should set the pace and we could turn around whenever we needed. The middle of the trail is the steepest and I did pretty well. =) Then we arrived at the pond and we stopped awhile to just watch the water and birds (even a Eastern bluebird!) and listen to the silence....complete silence.
I started thinking about the seasons of our lives and how a year ago I still felt as if I was in the summer of my life...late summer perhaps, but still summer. However, with my cancer diagnosis last May, I started feeling like perhaps I am in the fall of my life....maybe only September, but still fall. Then these last few weeks I really felt like fall...late fall. I've been praying for discernment about my medication and I realized that I would really like to be able to feel as if I was back in late summer. So I may try the medicine again and see if I do any better and I may even try the other possible medications. But if I go back to feeling like I did two weeks ago, I think that I may just stop and put it all in our dear Lord's hands and try to get myself back to summer for a while. The odds without the meds are still strongly in my favor... I could have a very good chance of staying cancer free. But if not, then I have moments too of longing for the joys of heaven....on a lovely day such as we had today it is a wonder to imagine how beautiful it must be.
A blessed peaceful Sunday to all. =)

1 comment:

Lizzy said...

My dear friend and neighbor made the decision to go off her meds after just a month, too...she was diagnosed with breast cancer this spring and all looks great after surgery. BUT the meds she was taking took such a toll with sleepless nights, etc...chances of a reoccurrence are slim, so thus her decision. I hope you're doing well. Thanks for stopping by my blog :)