I have not blogged in a month...the longest break ever in the four and a half years I've been writing. Now there's so much to write but I can't do it all at once.
I started with bronchitis on July 1 and I haven't felt that well since. Slowly, day by day, things get better but it's slow. I'm not contagious but it just has worn me down. I get tired easily.
My daughter passed her nursing boards and starts her new job at Children's Hospital in the ICU on August 19th. Very exciting!
She signed the papers to buy a brand-new beautiful condo about two miles from our house yesterday. I sat there watching her signing paper after paper and I knew the next stage of my life is soon to begin. She won't be moving out until November or so, but I realize it will be here before I know it. I am happy for her and a little sad for me. I had hoped that she would stay at home until she got married but that is probably at least another 15 months or more away and she is so anxious to start her adult life. It is a very nice condo...1700 square feet with two bedrooms, two full baths, a study, living room, dining room, kitchen, and laundry room. ...bigger than our first house!
I'm bound to cry on moving day when I look at her empty room.
Michael and John are thrilled because now they will each have their own room.
I am struggling through a dry time in my spiritual life when prayer is sometimes difficult and I feel so discouraged about so many situations in my life.
But He is there.
With His quiet presence.

A blessed peaceful night to all....

God is Good, Always...

Thank you for all of your prayers....I appreciate them so much.

I went for my diagnostic mammogram yesterday and I must admit I was a bit nervous but basically calm.
Sunday night as I said my evening prayers and rosary, I was thinking a bit about what it would be like if the news was bad and I found myself thinking about all of the people and situations I could offer up my suffering for if that was part of our dear Lord's plan for my life.
It really was helpful to think of all those dear people.

I had to wait a bit but when they took me back, the young lady who was doing my procedure showed me the spot they were concerned about on my first mammogram last week. I could see it. She showed me where it would be on myself and I definitely couldn't feel it. She did two more different images and then took me to a room to wait. Several minutes later she came back and said that the doctor wanted another image. That made me feel a bit more nervous. So we went back and did another.
She took me back to that waiting room and left me there for what seemed like forever, but was actually only 5 minutes or so. During this time I prepared myself to hear that I needed a biopsy. I kept praying for strength.When she came back, she didn't look me in the face but told me the doctor wanted to talk to me.
However, when I went back he showed me all of the views and explained everything and then told me that he was 99.9% sure that it wasn't cancer. Huge sigh of relief from me...
He does want me to go back in 6 months and have another one done just to be on the very cautious side. This had been my first mammogram so he has nothing to compare it to and this way he will be sure. He also showed me where to check for it but he said it's too small for me to probably feel right now.

I had an interesting week for sure. It made me look at my own mortality. I guess I think of myself as having 20 or 30 years left and it made me think about the possibility that I could only have a few, though in reality none of us knows the hour or moment....
I am grateful for this temporary reprieve.
God is good, always.

A blessed day to all ......

Waiting

I've been trying to offer up the waiting....
We've been really busy which helps. Last night we went to the Reds' game. It was stinkin' hot but we still had a good time. They won plus they had a great fireworks show afterwards.
Today and tomorrow we are on the go nearly nonstop...which can be good and bad. Today we have a leadership training seminar to go to all day (which I have to provide the lunch for everyone) and this evening we have a graduation party. Tomorrow we have a baptism to attend with a party afterwards and a Father's Day party in the evening at my brother's for my dad. At least I won't have a lot of time to think about it.
Thank you again for the prayers....I know they're helping to keep me calm.

A blessed weekend to all.....

Vacation Memories

I really seem to have lost my heart for blogging these last few months. I want to get back to it because I so much enjoy being able to go back and read my life these last four years, but I struggle with forcing myself to write.
Our vacation was very nice, though too short as usual, and we arrived home safe and sound late Saturday night. I wish I would have blogged some of our days when we were there but I didn't, and so I'm going to write down things I want to remember about those days....
My sweetest memory will be sitting on the balcony with Mark saying our rosary every night. Listening to the ocean, watching the moon shine its awesome gleam on the ocean some nights, and watching lightning over the ocean other nights. One night, the moon came up blood red in color...very eerie....and right as we were finishing our rosary, the clouds started rolling in and then we were happy to run in the condo as a storm broke loose.
Our condo was on the 14th floor (actually the 13th floor) and I'm afraid of heights. They didn't have a lower floor available so I asked the dear Lord to take away my fear for the week and thankfully, He did. I wasn't afraid. I could stand on the balcony and look over the railing and I wasn't afraid. Absolutely amazing. In the past I wouldn't have even been able to go out on the balcony.
Other memories....
Mark, John, and I working on the puzzle we brought in the evenings...
All of us going to see UP and wearing our 3D glasses.
All of us going to see Star Trek and trying to figure it out afterwards.
Dancing on our chairs at Senor Frog on our last night....okay, Mark, Beth, and I danced on our chairs and the guys just sat there looking at us.
Going outlet shopping with Beth while the guys went trapshooting....I was so tired by the end of that afternoon!
Reading Les Miserables....I'm still trying to finish it up.
Walking on the beach in the morning with my darlin' husband.
Watching the fireworks at Barefoot Landing and Broadway on the Beach.
Laughing at Beth and Steve's antics and telling Steve that he better not complain after they're married because he KNOWS what he's getting himself into.
Laughing at Michael doing his "Magic Quest" jokes all week and wearing his nerdy 3D glasses.
Enjoying the fact that this year it wasn't bikers' week at the beach.
Going to Mass on Thursday with Mark and out to lunch together....alone...

Just spending time relaxing with all of them.....I know these days of family vacations are coming close to ending.
Beth is talking about moving out next year, and oh, my mother's heart will break a bit more that day. I keep hoping that she'll wait until they get married, but Steve needs a better-paying job and we're all praying for that. The economy is definitely not helping that situation. Beth's best friend from college became engaged over the weekend and I know that they're hoping it can happen soon for them too.

Other news....
On Monday I went for a mammogram. Yesterday I received a call that they want me to go back for more on my right. The nurse told me not to be scared, but there's the little nagging at my heart. I thought I was handling it well but then yesterday it hit me once how hard it would be to have something wrong, and I cried. Of course, they can't do the additional test until next Monday, so I have to wait when all I want is for it to be over with. I'm reminding myself of the people I know who've had to go back and it was nothing; and I'm also reminding myself of all the women I know who have been treated for breast cancer and are still with us, living their lives. They made it through though it wasn't a fun process.
I'm praying and putting my life in His hands and I'm praying for the strength to keep being able to put it in His hands, if you know what I mean. I know He knows what's best....I just would really like to be around at least long enough to finish homeschooling and raising me darlin' children...

It's been rainy and cloudy and gloomy ever since we arrived home and that doesn't help the mood....I sure could use some sunshine. They keep saying later today....I hope so!

A blessed peaceful Wednesday to all....

Heading for the Beach

We're leaving for the beaches of South Carolina in the morning.....ahhhh.....vacation.....
I'm taking my laptop so hopefully I will have a chance to do some blogging while I'm there.
A blessed, peaceful Sunday to all.....

Listening...

Last week, I was eating lunch with the kids and we were discussing the fact that I only have three more years of homeschooling left. Beth asked me what I planned on doing when I was finished and I said I didn't know; I would leave it in God's hands when the time came. She suggested I get a job. I told her that I doubted that I would do that; I would most likely do some type of volunteer work depending on my situation at the time. She then suggested that she thought I would make a good counselor. She said I'm always such a good listener and have good advice. What a compliment from my darlin' daughter!! She said that people are always telling me things....

On this past Friday night, Mark and I went to the Annual Archbishop's Dinner. When Will went into our major seminary here several years ago, we thought it would be nice to make a sizable donation every year. It helped me feel as if we were contributing to his education. The amount was large enough that we became members of the Bishop Fenwick Society and this dinner is for its members. We've kept up our yearly donation even though Will isn't in seminary any more... we like the thought of helping educate the young men of our archdiocese who are studying for the priesthood.
So we went to this dinner for the first time this year even though we really don't know anyone there very well. We were seated at a table with three other couples all around our age or a few years younger. The woman next to me was very friendly and we started talking immediately. Over the course of the next two hours she told me various stories about her life that were very personal and I was amazed that she felt so comfortable doing it. I found myself thinking about what Beth had said and wondered if maybe that would be a possibility some day. I was also reminded of a conversation I had with a dear friend who always says I'm easy to talk to. This person has confided in me about things that they said they have never told anyone else.
So this has me thinking a bit and perhaps we'll see what happens when those days of homeschooling are over. I'm open to wherever He leads me....

My heart has been so heavy still and I must admit that this morning I was feeling a bit cranky. But things have improved as the day has gone on. We're having a very large graduation party for Beth next Sunday and I have all of the work involved with that on my mind and I must admit I will be relieved when the preparations are over.
I know part of my depression is grieving about a relationship that is dear to my heart where I feel the person is upset with me, though they won't admit it, because of something I told them several months ago that I felt the dear Lord putting on my heart to tell them and they really didn't like hearing it. I'm missing how close we were this past year up to that time, and my heart is grieving. I keep trying to offer up the pain for this person because I do love them with a mother's heart, but I sometimes wish that God would just take away the love so that the pain would go away too. But a mother's heart isn't like that, I know...

I hope that all of you have had a blessed Memorial Day.....may you be ever mindful of His endless love....

A First Mass

I cried at Mass again today, but this time for a good reason. A young man from our parish was ordained to the priesthood Saturday and he said his first Mass today. It was beautiful....
I cried when he walked up to the altar at the beginning in his beautiful new vestments and kissed the altar.
I cried when he pronounced the words of Consecration for the first time and thought about how wonderful that must feel.
After Communion, he took a few moments to speak to us and then he pulled out a cloth. He told us that the after his ordination Mass, he took this cloth and wiped the chrism from his hands that the archbishop had anointed him with. He then proceeded to give this cloth to his mother, saying how instrumental she had been in raising him in the faith, and how supportive she had been of his vocation to the priesthood. Then he pulled out a stole and said that he was going to wear it the first time he heard Confessions and that afterwards, he was going to give it to his father because he had taught him about mercy and forgiveness, and he had always given him good counsel. That had lots of people tearing up...including me again, of course. What a blessing it would be to have a son as a priest.

I remembered him as a young awkward man and today he seemed poised and confident. It has been a joy to watch him grow into the priesthood. He has been in my prayers these last few years of seminary and he will remain in my prayers as a priest.

The rest of the day has been busy with church home which was very pleasant. Everyone stayed for dinner and we had too much good food....makes it hard to lose weight on these occasions.

I hope that all of you have had a blessed Sunday.....