Monday, November 28, 2011

Next Step

I'm feeling more nervous this morning than I expected. I have to go for my first mammogram since surgery and I didn't think it was bothering me but this morning there's that little fear that they will find something new.
When I went to the oncologist a few weeks back, she was not upset that I had stopped the medicine. In fact, it was definitely the right thing to do. Unfortunately, the tamoxifen has now caused other issues and I am now scheduled to have a hysterectomy and my ovaries removed on Friday. Instant menopause here I come. Many combining factors in my life now put me at a higher risk for ovarian cancer and I will be a little relieved to not have that worry.
But it is crazy around here with our kitchen being remodeled and Christmas coming. I have about a hundred things I would like to get finished this week but I know it simply isn't all going to happen.
And I have peace with that. It's been so strange that through all of this, I have rarely prayed for my healing. I have left that prayer for my family and friends and have mainly prayed that our dear Lord will bless me with the grace and strength to offer it all not waste the suffering. But some days this is not easy to do and I have found myself praying this time that there will be no complications with this surgery; that all will go well and that the side effects of the new medication that I will need to take won't be too bad.
I keep reminding myself that I need to trust in His plan for my life. Every day that we live is simply a step to the final our eternal home.
I am so thankful for all of the prayers and for all of the support of my family and friends and am humbled by the prayers of people who I've only met online....the blessings that come from my brothers and sisters in Christ that are all over the world.
God is good indeed, always.
A blessed day to all....

No comments: