Happy Feast of St. Mark

There must be something about me and April 25th. I was looking back at my old postings (I also have a Xanga blog that I started over 4 years ago) and four years ago today, I had bronchitis. Three years ago, I wasn't sick, but I was worried sick about my darlin' daughter who was having "Steve" woes, and wasn't eating. Two years ago, I had a bad migraine headache. One year ago, I had a sinus infection and found out that I have high blood pressure.
Last night, I was awakened abruptly when I turned over in my sleep and had a horrible pain in my back. I must have pulled a muscle somehow and wow....did it hurt! The pain was so bad that I was literally panting to breathe and since it was in my upper back, it hurt even more with every breath. I couldn't get comfortable, so I got up and tried walking around. It was one of those places on my back that I can't reach well, so trying to rub it was pretty well impossible. I woke up my poor husband with my moving around.
I tried laying down again but that was useless, so I sat in my chair in our bedroom. I took some Advil and waited a while, sat in my chair, and prayed, and started offering up the pain for people....my parents, my dear husband, me darlin' children, the dear son of my heart, our friends, my godchildren...and somehow, being able to offer it up for all those people I love best brought me some joy. I found myself thanking our Lord for letting me share in His suffering a little. I tried to imagine how He must have suffered so much more than I was....and it brought me peace.
After about an hour, I was able to lay down (very carefully!) and sleep a little but then I had to get up early to take Michael, and his friend, Phil, who stayed overnight to Mass.
I think after this, I will take some more Advil and see if I can take a little nap.....

A blessed, peaceful weekend to all....

I didn't have the most productive day, but that happens sometimes. We were up to go to early Mass; then we drove to the seminary here for a library tour with Michael's religion class from co-op. We didn't get home until almost 3 o'clock, which put all of my normal Thursday duties behind. However, we did manage to get some of the basic school subjects covered and I did make it to Adoration tonight....my favorite part of the week....His blessed presence and peace.

Easter Friday

It was an absolutely beautiful April day here. We grilled out steaks for dinner and afterwards, Mark wanted to work in the yard for a while before we went to Adoration, so we arrived a bit later than we usually do.
The church where we go on Friday nights has a small chapel that they use for Adoration. When Mark and I walked in tonight, I immediately felt uncomfortable. One of our friends was there and another older woman in her 60's. Across the room, sitting on the side, was a man. He was the cause of my discomfort. He sat sideways, not facing the altar, and was looking at us with a strange smile on his face. He was drinking from a bottle of soft drink and had no book in hand; he wasn't even looking at our Lord. He was just looking at all of us. I felt those waves of evil that I have felt in other places, at other times.
We knelt down and I could feel his eyes on us. I struggled to pray....
About five minutes later, our friend, Lynn, got up to leave and came over to me. She whispered to me, asking me if I knew the man. I told her no, and she said that he had been there when she had arrived over an hour ago. She had planned on leaving earlier, but he had unnerved her so, that she didn't want to leave the older woman there alone with him. I told her that he was making me very uncomfortable also...
I whispered to Mark what she had said to me and the whole time, I could feel him watching us. I started praying to our dear Lord to send His angels to watch over us, guard us. I actually found myself wondering if he would whip out a gun and shoot us or something. Sounds crazy, I know, but with so much of that stuff going on lately, it didn't seem impossible. My thoughts immediately went to my dear children and wondering how such a tragedy would affect them. I kept praying for protection. I didn't think we should leave....I didn't want to leave the other woman alone with him, and I knew that if the woman left too, he would be alone with the Eucharist, and I was afraid he might have plans of desecration.

Later, Mark told me that he started praying that if the man wasn't supposed to be there, that he would leave. About five minutes later, he stood up, and without genuflecting or even looking in the Lord's direction, he left. I was so relieved. The other woman turned around and looked at me with a huge look of relief on her face too.
I must admit, every time the door opened after that, I held my breath wondering if it would be him coming back again, but thankfully, he didn't.
It always amazes me how I've become more sensitive to those waves of evil. I have felt them when we have prayed in front of abortion clinics and in certain parts of the city that we live in. I have felt them when we have been other places on vacation. I remember once several years ago, we drove through what appeared to be a quiet little town. The waves of evil struck me as we drove down the street. I said something to Mark and he had felt it too. A bit unnerving....

Thank you, Lord, for your loving presence; your comforting protection.

A blessed Easter Saturday to all.....

He is Risen!!! Alleluia!!!

A happy, blessed Easter to all!!!!

The Easter Vigil Mass last night was beautiful....it always brings tears to my eyes. The moments I love best are when the Easter Proclamation is sung with the church all dark except for the candlelight; the Gloria when the church bells ring; the baptisms, confirmations, First Communions; watching the priest put the reserved Eucharist back into the tabernacle so that it is no longer empty; going to Communion myself.
Two little brothers were brought into the Church last night. One was an adorable little 3 year old and the other was his 8 year brother who was also celebrating his birthday. So that little guy will always be able to remember that he was baptized, confirmed, and made his First Communion on his birthday....isn't that awesome??!!
It's a beautiful morning here....hopefully it is at your house too....

Holy Monday

It was a cold rainy day here....more like February than April. We even had snow flurries for a while.
I didn't have the best day, I must confess. John had a rough school day....he struggled with everything and I had to spend a lot of time with him and we still didn't get finished. I had to do the ironing for my mom and run some errands, go to my parents, pick up Michael from co-op, and try to listen to the Reds' game when possible. Unfortunately, they lost, 2-1.
I rushed around to get to my hair appointment at 5, only to find out that they had forgotten to call me to cancel. My hairstylist was sick, which means that my hair won't be able to be done before Easter.
I had been looking forward to those 90 minutes of sitting there and relaxing. Instead, I went back home and did some more school with John and made dinner, then went off to a planning meeting for the food for the wedding of Will's sister in a few weeks. That lasted until after 9. I'm in charge of the fruit, grapes and strawberries....doesn't sound too bad.
So now a tired me is off to bed. My day didn't go like I planned; my heart was heavy all day; but I offered it all up to Him. Perhaps it wasn't such a bad day after all...
A blessed, peaceful night to all.....

Palm Sunday

Another week has gone by...I can't believe it's Palm Sunday already. Lent has flown by so quickly.
I love Palm Sunday Mass, though I must admit I cried during the Gospel. It's always difficult for me to imagine the pain and suffering our dear Lord endured because I know it's much greater than anything I could possibly imagine, but I have little difficulty in relating to how Peter felt when he denied Him. It brings tears to my eyes every time I read that Peter went out and wept.
I always find myself wondering what thoughts and feelings were running through our dear Blessed Mother's mind...the heartache she endured. This last week, I've been having a little heartache myself and I keep reminding myself that I am enduring only a little of what her heart must have endured. Sometimes, having to hold love in is a heartache in itself. I keep offering it up for the person who is causing it and for my dear children.

We had a busy weekend. Friday night I helped serve at the rehearsal dinner for the daughter of friends of ours. It was a very busy 4 hours of being on my feet (I never sat down once the whole time) and washing lots of dishes! By the time it was our turn to eat, I had scraped so much leftovers off the plates, that the food didn't look too appetizing to me!
Saturday morning we were up early to go to a conference. The guest speakers were Fr. Mitch Pacwa and Dr. Scott Hahn. They were awesome! Dr.Hahn was especially interesting. We arrived home just in time to clean up to go to the wedding. It was a beautiful wedding and a lovely reception, but I was really tired before midnight had even arrived.
The week ahead brings taxes, schoolwork, errands, and Holy Week. We finally received the last paper we needed to do our taxes and I'm dreading them, but I know I must do them this week. It's also my mother's 85th birthday on Good Friday and I'm trying to figure out what we can do to celebrate a little without breaking our fast or the seriousness of the day.
I don't know when I'll have a chance to get on here again this week, but I do want to wish all of you a blessed Holy Week....a time when you can hopefully grow closer to our Blessed Saviour.
His peace to you all.....

Trying to Survive in the River of Death

Another week has gone by....
I haven't updated because, frankly, Thursday and Friday I was so depressed that anything I would have written would have been whiny. The depression was prompted mostly by my deplorable hormones but aggravated by the circumstances of my life and the craziness of this world we're all living in.
On Monday, I attended the funeral of someone from Presentation Ministries, the lay ministry we're involved in...always a reminder that we must always be ready.
Wednesday, Mark told me about one of his coworker's 4 year old son dying suddenly in emergency surgery. He hadn't been feeling well for a few days and when they took him to the doctor, they ran some tests and found a rare kidney disorder. They tried dialysis which didn't help like they hoped. He had some type of surgery and died during it. The father was so distraught when he called to tell his boss about it, that the boss couldn't understand everything he said. Heartbreaking....
We also found out this week that a friend lost his job. He and his wife have five young children that they are trying to homeschool. Their 6 year old son fell and broke his femur, which resulted in surgery and a long recovery ahead. We're not sure what their insurance status is but we do know that the husband and wife are having marital difficulties. Things are not fun at their house these days.

The hormones resulted in me crying at the drop of a hat....Friday night I was literally crying when we went to bed. I was crying to poor Mark that I was scared.
All week long, I've had this picture in my mind....
I'm standing in a river and the water is rushing past me....I'm trying to hold on to my children.....trying to keep them from being swept away. I am overwhelmed with praying and hoping that they will stand in the water on their own....I'm afraid I will lose.
The dear Lord has entrusted me to try to raise these three dear souls for His kingdom. He has also given me a spiritual son to pray for and try to mother. Sometimes I feel as if everything is working against me. They don't always seem to understand the dangers I'm trying to teach them about; I'm so afraid I will fail in my task....

Today I woke up feeling a bit better...the hormones must be beginning to calm down. We went to 11 AM Mass. Beth and Steve were with us and I was glad because Father had an excellent homily....he was on fire.
He started out by talking about today's Gospel..."I am troubled now. Yet, what should I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? But it was for this purpose that I came to this hour." He said to us that Jesus had free will and that He could have chosen to escape this hour. But He suffered through it for us, He suffered the now, to bring us eternal life. Then Father went on to say that we need to be willing to suffer now in order to gain eternal life. We have to think of that, not what we want to enjoy at this moment. He said we have to be willing to be martyred.
He talked about the Notre Dame scandal and how the president of Notre Dame is choosing for the prestige of this moment and is causing scandal to the country and is risking his eternity. He spoke about Cardinal Egan and his recent comments about the need "to rethink priestly celibacy" and how he is risking his eternity for the "now". He spoke about the Catholic politicians, the bishops, and the clergy who are causing scandal with their beliefs and actions, leading people astray, and risking their eternity. He went on to talk about how we need to be willing to bypass the pleasure of the "now" and suffer for the sake of our eternities. He spoke about living together in sin and artificial conception and how people are risking their souls for the pleasure of "now". He spoke about how people say that the Church "needs to get with the times" when the reality is that the times need to get with the Church.
He was awesome...
An image that he used was related to the one I've had in my mind all week. He said that our culture and society are a river of death and that we need to swim against this current; this river of death. Gave me chills to hear him say it when that was the same basic thought I had had in my mind all week.
After Mass, I spoke to a friend and told her how I had had that image in my mind all week of trying to hold onto my children in the river's current and she added that another problem is that as we're standing there trying to hold onto them, that the reality is that sometimes our feet give way and we move in the current with them....so true! I have caught myself in the last few years letting myself give in on something that I shouldn't have and I've been so unhappy with myself....things that I have tried to convince myself were not that bad, but in reality are part of that slippery slope. It is so, so difficult in this culture. Especially when people who we respect are giving in on some things with their children and our children are using them as an example. None of us are perfect and sometimes we can all misjudge.
So Father fired me up to keep fighting the fight. I know I have to keep in mind that I am not in this fight alone. Our dear Lord is right here with me, even if I don't always feel His presence. He loves me and He loves my children even more than I do. I am not alone.
I must keep a prayer, His name, always on my lips, always on my mind.

A blessed Sunday to all.....