I did have a better day today. I had a talk with both of the people who I was upset about yesterday and things have improved. I was upset with two of the people dearest to my heart and I was having a hard time dealing with the anger I felt. At Mass today, I lifted up the anger to God and asked Him to please help me deal with it and in both cases, He did.
I always struggle with my prayer life when I'm angry about something. I tend to think of anger as being something bad but I know I need to get away from that feeling. It's not the anger that's wrong, it losing your temper and/or acting in an inappropriate way with it that's wrong. I need to learn that lesson. Growing up, anger was always thought of as a bad thing at my house and I know it's because my poor mom had to deal with her father's alcoholic temper. I don't blame her, she was just reacting to the trauma of her childhood and never had anybody to help her really deal with all of it.
So I need to get past that mindset and know that just because I'm angry doesn't mean I'm being bad unless I act in a sinful manner because of it (and I must admit that sometimes I do lose my temper in those situations.) In one situation yesterday I did lose my temper and yelled (which I felt really bad about and apologized for) and in the other, I kept praying for the Lord to help me with the anger and He did and hopefully, I didn't handle it too badly.
I guess that's a bit confusing...
But anyway, thank you for the prayers sent my way. I do really appreciate it and I know those prayers helped me.
I'm off to bed. We're having Mark's family over for New Year's Day and I have a lot of work to do tomorrow plus the homeschool moms are having a Mom's Lunch out, which we haven't done in over a year. I'm really looking forward to that.
A blessed peaceful night to all......I can't believe that tomorrow is the last day of the year.....
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